It's Halloween.

Boy, Nat and I really got into it last night, She just doesn't know when to quit. I am not sure what this means, what it might do to our family unit. I am really not sure if I can deal with all this much more. I have tried so hard to raise my sisters kids, do the right thing, give them everything they need. I am only human and can only do so much before I explode. It is extra hard with her being sick. Maybe things will work themselves out. Maybe not. I do know a couple of teenagers who will be disapointed tonight. No trick or treat. They pulled to many tricks last night.

I have Neo on my lap. He is just what I need right now. A cuddle Rat. I can hear Francis busily rearranging the cage in the other room. I put fresh paper in the litter box, and she is moving it all up into the "snack shack", my new term for their larder, which has relocated itself (with the help of 2 rats, Neo dosn't save food, he eats it) it one iof their sleeping boxes. I love my little friends.

My first day at home on my 2 week hiatus. I really didn't do much. I went for a walk, and to the bookstore, my favorite one. Vromans I can't walk in there with out spending to much money. I bought a book call Daisy Sutra, it is indirectly about a person who uses an animal communicator. I wonder if I could communicate with Bear, and I also wonder if Kodiak's feelings are hurt knowing how much I miss Bear.

My mother has turned into a right wing Republican! Unbelievable. I was raised in a Liberal (yes with a capital L) Democratic houshold, I have no idea what has gotten into her. I thought she voted for Bush becuase she thought Clinton was a badboy for having sex. I told her I voted for Nadar, and I didn't condone all this violence going on in the world, and she called me a Pinko! I guess I should turn on the news and see who was accidentally bombed today. :( An eye for an eye, and everyone becomes blind.

CJ came home from UCSC last night, the first time since she has been away to college. The only difference was her nose was pierced. Not some stud that you hardly notice, that could perhaps pass for a mole. But a RING! It looks very tribal. I am not quite sure what I think.

Tomorrow I have to have dinner with the out-laws. Maybe I should get my nose pierced just for the shock value, and the fun we could have with dinner conversation. Hmmm. I will have to consider this.

I am taking 2 weeks off work. YAYAYAYA! I am experiencing major burn out and I need to regroup and have an attitude adjustment.. I still haven’t made a list of what I am going to do, but I should so I don’t sleep the whole time. Right now that’s what I feel like doing.

Its autumn here in So Cal, there is pumpkins and squash and Indian corn all about, for sale at the market, on people’s desks at work. Andy brought me some of the small pumpkins from the market; I decorated the table with them; some were moldy within a week; Damn California weather. Candy keeps showing up on my desk, of which I eat. I even baked bat and pumpkin shaped cookies on Sunday for the kids to decorate. I had quite a time trying to make black from the food coloring on hand. It was a lovely charcoal gray, which was quite acceptable. The orange however was perfect.

One thing I just hate about So Cal is that the weather stays like summer until Thanksgiving. I miss the seasons from up in Tahoe. We would have crisp days, and the aspens in Paige Meadow would be changing color. When the wind would blow through the leaves it would sound like water running. Maybe even a snow flurry or two. It was always exciting to see the first flakes; usually they we big, like lace floating down from heaven.

I keep dreaming about Tahoe. I am almost always on the west shore, where I lived when I was in Tahoma, or near Meeks Bay where I would go to the beach with Barbara and the kids a lot when she would visit during the summers.

People are dying. This list of people who are no longer with us does not include those who were accidentally killed in the bombing of a senior center, or those who were accidentally killed at a military hospital that is also used for civilians. Violence begets violence, why can’t we all just get along?

I just remembered what this carnage is called.... collateral damage.

Bear came to live with me when she was 5 weeks old. She was the only female in a liter that was set to be euthanized. Randy Genis, my vet, talked the owner of the Labrador that got mixed up with the Newfoundland down the street, not to destroy the puppies and he would help in placing them. Most of the girls who worked in the veterinary clinic took one of the puppies, they all looked like Newfies except for Bear and a yellow male.

Bear was named because as a puppy she looked like a little bear cub waddling around, and she was living with me in Tahoe City. Sort of the Great White North of California, at least in the winter.

She was a smart girl and was housebroken almost immediately. We built her a huge dog house to hang out in during the day. I wish I had a photo of it, 2 full grown adults could sit in it, and did on occasion with a beer and a Bear.

a tribute to the crappy way informix allows for store and restore of data
thus forcing me to be here in the evening, instead of doing anything else!

A G G Sadly
Sits at the keyboard
And waits for a line on the screen
Lives in a dream

Waits for a signal
Finding some code
That will make the machine do some more.
What is it for?

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

All of her staff
Typing the lines of a program that no one will run;
Isn't it fun?
Look at them working,
Munching some chips as they waits for the code to compile;
Where is their style?

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

A G G Sadly
Crashes the system and loses 6 hours of work;
What is it worth?
and then the boys

Wiping the blood off their hands as they walk from the grave;
Nothing was saved.

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

I had a dream about Bear last night. I was driving home from somewhere, the road was winding and it seemed as if there was snow about. It was dark out. I was talking to my passenger, a female, not sure whom she was, about how I hoped that Bear would be home by now. She was telling me she didn’t think she would be there until later in the week.

We pulled up and I got out of the car, and Bear was lying on her side. She looked dead, then I called her name and she jumped up and began wagging her tail and I cuddled her telling her how glad I was to see her. I wanted to walk across the street to where the house was and suddenly I had three dogs, I held Bear and Kodiaks collars with my right hand and in my left hand I held another dog. I was not sure who it was, but now I think that it was Rusty, my Brittany spaniel.

I held tight to all of them as the cars zoomed by, an unusual thing for Tahoe, if that is where I was. The headlights glared, and as soon as the road was clear we walked across, home. I woke up.

Attention: Rita

Enclosed please find a check in the amount of 25.00 to extend the boarding for "Bones", a male stray that is now residing in your sanctuary, impound number 15483, AZ. I will continue to send weekly checks until Either I can place him or he is adopted.

Please notify me if he is adopted. Also can I bring him a bed and a box of treats?

Sincerely,


October 14, 1997

San Gabriel Valley Humane Society
851 E. Grand Avenue
San Gabriel, CA 91776


Attention: Rita

Enclosed please find a check in the amount of 25.00 to extend the boarding for "Bones", a male stray that is now residing in your sanctuary, impound number 15483, AZ. I will continue to send weekly checks until Either I can place him or he is adopted.
Please notify me if he is adopted.